Princess Shimmy maintains complete control over Her slaves and servants, and recently decided to modify my diet for Her own benefit. In the past I have enjoyed regular trips to fast food restaurants for burgers, fries, onion rings, etc, and especially enjoy a delicious pizza on a regular basis.
No more, says Princess, as all the money spent on such selfish indulgences could be better spent serving Her, the Regal Princess Shimmy. Princess has concluded that my diet will henceforth consist primarily of ramens noodles. She will also allow me the occasional macaroni dinner and perhaps a sandwich made up of day old bread and generic brand bologna. When I suggested adding cheese to my sandwiches as well, Princess sat up and severely scolded me. "Don't be ridiculous! Cheese is much too expensive for a useless loser like you. Eat your noodles and shut up!"
After admonishing me, Princess reclined back on Her couch once more. She was wearing short shorts with Her gorgeous smooth legs crossed comfortably at the ankles as She relaxed. A fresh hot pizza had just been delivered to Her, and She leaned back and leisurely and took another bite from a thick slice, relishing the aroma and flavor while being cautious not to drop any crumbs onto Her bare, perfect legs. Licking Her full luscious lips with a flourish, Princess continued, "So, that's your diet from now on, turd, and if you spend your life on your knees eating cold 99 cent noodles from a plastic bowl to enable this Princess to enjoy a champagne and caviar life of luxury, then I would call that a bargain, wouldn't you agree, loser?" I nodded and respectfully answered, "yes Princess Shimmy". And of course She was one hundred percent correct. It is a rare privilege to serve Princess Shimmy!
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I would have done the same thing. I would have loved to have seen her eat that pizza. What an honor!
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